I can't remember when was the last time I wrote a sensible post on this blog, maybe I want my readers to visualise how goofy Coldman is and just blog my endless adventures and nonsense stories. But that's not always the real case, I have also my other side.
Today is one of those days when I just feel very sad, but for no particular reason. I know there are people with real problems in the world who have much more reason to feel sad than I do, but since loneliness has an inexaustible supply, I don't worry too much about shredding someone else's share of sadness. I promised not to write when I feel this way but I can’t help myself to let go of my emotions and burst right now. All alone here in front of my laptop...I maybe senseless and meaningless but I don't care and who else do care anyway?!
Honestly, I've had quite the feeling of loneliness the past few days...I feel so empty. I really can't put it any better than that. I broke up with someone last March....another failed relationship but that's not the reason I feel so lonely. I just don't know why. I'm living by myself at the moment, and have been for the past 3 years. I've been very independent and carefree. Aside from work, I have been filling my time with lots of travel and spending more than I imagined just to satisfy my needs.
I think I'm all over the place with this. Maybe I am hurting from the loss of a relationship, and just can't hide it anymore. I don't know. I've had few number of flings in the past few months, but nothing is as rewarding as a true relationship. Mindless sex just doesn't cut it either.
And now three days before my birthday, I think of being old. I told myself I would never think these thoughts, but they keep recurring so I have to own up. What am I doing with my life? I still feel that I'm immature, a happy-go- lucky guy! WTF! I'm not getting any younger anymore! I don’t want to think that I’m living in desperation but I know that I am constantly looking for some diversion to reality right now.
I want to do something different, but what else is there to do that's so different? Fcuk!! I don’t know. Maybe spilling my feelings out into the mindless dribble of this blog will make me feel better... Maybe it will fix itself... Maybe... Maybe...
I don't like what I'm feeling at this moment. Damn, I hate it!
Sorry, I’m so wasted. I just wish I could wave a magic wand, and make myself happy.
Hopefully tomorrow will be a better day. *Sigh*
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Actually, I have not tried any water sports yet and also I'm not a good swimmer but still I'm looking forward to do it in the future. Anyone?
Last Friday, I bought another lens for my cam, this will be my third. It's the Canon EF 28-135 mm IS USM lens. I like this one because it has image stabilizer which prevents blurry pictures or camera shake.
At long last after 4 months, I'll be submitting my first photo project in school. I've neglected it for the past few months since I've been so busy with my work. I have one more photo project left after this one. Hope I will earn good reviews from my instructors.
Since I've been out of town last week, I decided to take a rest and bore myself at home for the weekend. I went to Redbox, a DVD rental kiosk near McDonalds, it's just 1$ per night but unfortunately they have only limited selections. So I went to Movie Gallery instead, while browsing some DVD's I noticed that they have a small room with a sign "For Adults Only".
Acting like a loser-pervert, I sneaked in to feed my curiosity. Joke! Wow! it's porn galore! Well, I could hardly remember when was the last time I watched porn, (big joke!) so I ended up getting one. I'm a responsible adult, anyway! Lol!
Now, the weird thing. My player did'nt read the last 3 DVD's after watching that porn. Poor me. May sa demonyo yata yung porn na yun at nasira yung player! I tried to fix it (inalog-alog at pinukpok) but sadly it won't play again. *Sigh* " Ayan kasi dahil sa........ nasira tuloy!" Hahaha!
The next day, guess what ! I bought another DVD player, I dont want to return those DVD's without seeing Transformers and.....
Okay, this is just my observation.
On the contrary, Sandia Peak was my favorite part of my New Mexico Trip. It has the longest aerial tramway record in the world, a superb attraction for nature enthusiasts and those who'd simply like to take a relaxing break.
The views that we got on the way up, at the top, and on the way down were spectacular. We wanted to watch the sunset while having a drink at High Finance restaurant, but we did not make a reservation. Fortunately, we were able to sit at the bar, but unfortunately you can't see the sunset quite as well from the bar as you can from the dining room. The food was good specializing in steak and seafood, though a bit pricey.
It was still worth every dollar we paid, despite the freezing cold gale-force winds in the middle of the night . I highly recommend this to those who would like to have a romantic date.
